abhaygupta

Ko Hum?

Can you imagine the chaos that our life would be if we forgot our own physical identity even for a moment?

Imagine asking the person standing next to you in a shop, ‘What is my name?’ I am sure we’d be driven out post-haste and labeled a mad person. If you don’t want to try it in a shop try it at home. Getting up one morning,try asking your spouse ‘Who am I?’

A similar chaos prevails in our life when we forget this all-important identity, Chido Hum. The chaos manifests as hurts and pains, anger, fear, anxiety, greed etc. We consider these manifestations to be a part of ‘normal worldly existence’; the reality is that no one calls us mad because everyone has the same symptoms! Inside a lunatic asylum no one calls each other mad!!!

What we refer as the ‘normal world’ is actually a collection of people who have all forgotten their true identity. Only a few among them seek their true identity, and yet fewer come to realize the true identity. Very few come to the point of self-realization ‘Aham Brahmasmi’.

The last remark of Arjuna in Bhagwad Gita (XVIII-73) is a great pointer in the direction - ‘Nashto moha smrtir labdha’ [My illusion is dispelled and I have regained memory.] It took the Lord Himself more than three hours of sermonizing a devoted disciple before he made the declaration - smrtir labdha!!! We neither have the advantage of Lord Himself available to us, nor are we in the same league of being a devoted friend of His that Arjuna was, whereby He'd feel obliged to come and direct us. With such handicaps, how much time, how many lives we need before we can remember our true identity, is anybody’s’ guess.

We can no longer delay this enquiry about our true identity.

Did I hear a chuckled response, ‘What will happen when I find my true identity?’ My answer is a counter-question, ‘What happens when your blindfold is removed?’

Consciousness Revisited

Our true identity is pure consciousness, Shivo Hum.

Consider a source of light; say Sun, which radiates light in all directions. The Sun can be equated to the soul (atman) while its light can be compared to consciousness (chetana).

Consciousness at the highest level, at the level of Shiva is referred to as chid. Shiva is niraakaar (without form), hence His energy is the non-vibratory energy; Silence and Peace are thus associated with that non-vibratory condition called Ananda.

The first vibratory manifestation of the Shiva-energy is Ahamkaar (Aham+Aakaar), loosely translated as MY FORM. Ego can be compared to a transformer that converts the pure consciousness, a non-vibratory very high energy, to a usable, vibratory energy form. It is the light of the ego that further percolates to the intellect and the mind, and through them to the senses. We are living in a highly attenuated energy environment.

Attenuation of Consciousness

The first important aspect is to understand the nature of this energy, the light. The light is a highly attenuated because of the Ego. This attenuation can be understood somewhat by referring to the solar model.

Sun (Atman) alone is the self-luminescent body in the solar system; all other planets and their satellites, like the moon, are simply reflecting the light of the Sun. We experience the light of the Sun during day and the moonlight (reflected sunlight) at night.

Our ego is an entity, if one can loosely call it that, very similar to the moon. The ego is reflecting the light of the Self (Sun). The normal consciousness we are operating under is therefore not the light of the Self (Sun) but the light reflected by the ego (moon). The reflected light is grossly reduced in intensity, and loses many of the original powers – just like the Sun reflected in a mirror may reflect the light but its image will be as cold as the surface of the mirror!

The next important milestone is that consciousness and mind, or intellect, do not exist as separate entities. One can’t say that ‘this is mind’ and ‘this is consciousness’ or ‘this is intelligence’ and ‘this is consciousness’. When water and salt become one we experience salty water. We cannot normally experience consciousness separately because the instruments for experiencing, the five senses and the antahkarana, are one with consciousness.

When light is incident on objects the objects are illumined. When the light is incident on the blue object it is reflected as blue, while from a red object it is reflected as red. The colour of the reflected light is a function of the colour of the object (when the light is pure white).


Likewise, the consciousness at the level of mind and at the level of intellect reflects the basic nature of the mind (raag - dwesha) and intellect (avidya) and not the purity of the consciousness itself. What we experience through the mind is actually its nature; it is either ‘I like what I see’, or ‘I don’t like what I see’ or ‘It does not interest me’.

In our normal (unconscious) existence, instead of us working under the direct light (Sun) we keep working under the light that is severely attenuated and coloured; attenuated by the ego principle and coloured by the antahkarana.

Our ignorant living is thus eclipsed !!!

It is not a Solar or the Lunar Eclipse. Pray, we are eclipsed. This should give a clear indication about the fact that we are living in the darkness; let us choose to live in the bright sunshine of the Atman that is ever-present and available.

What To Do To Experience the Luminosity of The Self

Learn to meditate.

Witnessing the pure light can be a long-drawn practice spanning many lives; the process can however be catalyzed by the Master. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar does it in 40 minutes!!! Ramateerth Paramhans could do it to Narendra (Vivekananda) instantly with the touch of his hand!!!

If not the realization, Aham Brahmasmi, may I make a beginning with a declaration So Hum.

May I realize the Beautiful Truth this Mahashivratri, ‘Shivo Hum, Chido Hum.’
Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram.

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